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Might as well tell your homies to throw their food scraps in your new compost bin, too, not because you care about garbage, but because you learned how to cultivate some great topsoil in which to grow your heirloom tomatoes for your famous spaghetti sauce for NASCAR night. Look at you! Actually caring about the health and the environment, but pretending not to! Hey, it’s a start.

I guess Mark Morford is finally realizing that gardening does not make you “bland as milk”. This sort of makes up for the time he dissed gardening. Not that I’m keeping track.

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Heads Up: Some may find this column offensive.

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